Our Decision to Become Part of a Family Integrated Church Part 4

Here are some of the activities that we participate in at our church:  biweekly fellowship meals, picnics at parks or at a local family's home, building and setting off rockets, father-son activities, ladies' teas, sponsoring a child through Compassion International, collecting for the local pregnancy center, helping by donating to missionaries in Africa, Ukraine and Ireland, as well as the MERF organization.  We had a special service and small re-enactment of the sinking of the Titanic last year for 100th anniversary, where several of our men spoke about what it means to be a man and to protect the women and children, and this included a special dinner.  Our men meet together one Sunday afternoon a month to share and to encourage one another and lift one another up in prayer, and our ladies meet once a month to encourage one another as well.

We've also played softball, Ultimate Frisbee, Airsoft (the boys and men), soccer, basketball, had game nights, mystery dinners, and movie nights to watch things like "Captivated".  We have had guest speakers -- several missionaries, as well as Terri Roberts.  We also have a special tradition each Easter -- we meet at a pond at a nearby park and read some scripture, sing a hymn or two, and pray.  Then we return the the church building and have breakfast together before Sunday school and church.  The meeting at the pond is because when the pastor and elders decided to begin this church, they had met at that pond early one morning to pray about it.  During their prayer time, they also witnessed the sun rise over the pond and that is how they decided to call our church "Sonrise Christian Fellowship".

In Sunday school, we also went through the Truth Project.

Our entire family has grown by leaps and bounds in our spiritual walks since we've been attending this church.  We are all a part of the church.  Many of the teens in the church participate in services by using their musical talents.  Our oldest son taught a short, 3-part, Sunday school lesson.

During the almost six years that we have been a part of this church, it has grown, slowly at first, but quite quickly more recently.  We now average about 60 people each Sunday.

We have many families come to us because they found us through our website, and they were seeking a family integrated church because they understand the value of such a church.  We now have families who drive and hour to attend our church, so we are no longer the ones traveling from the farthest distance.

We are blessed to be a part of this church, where we even get to personally know our pastors, as they participate in many of the fellowship meals and activities as well.

Our oldest son, turned 18 this week and we invited one of the church families and our pastor to join us for dinner to celebrate, and we had a lovely evening together.

You can find our church, Sonrise Christian Fellowship in Quarryville, PA.  Check out our website at:  http://sonrisechristianfellowship.org/    If you are close enough or don't mind a drive, join us.  If a family integrated church is what you're looking for, we'd love to have you with us.

Our Decision to Become Part of a Family Integrated Church Part 3

We began regularly attending this family integrated church in late July of 2007.  We fully enjoyed the series on "Apologetics" that the pastor taught and took lots of notes.  I couldn't figure out why other churches weren't teaching this.  It is so crucial to being able to stand strong in your faith.

Not long after we began attending the church, they announced that Voddie Baucham would be speaking at a church even closer to our house one evening.  They explained that he was the man who began speaking and teaching about the need and benefit of family integrated churches.

Our oldest son and I went to hear Voddie Baucham speak that evening and were moved and inspired.  When we met Mr. Baucham in the foyer afterward, my son gave him a hug.  We spoke briefly to Mr. Baucham then and told him that we had recently began attending a family integrated church.  We also purchased his book Family Driven Faith, which I began to read the next day.  What a fantastic book.  I highly recommend it to all believers.  It explains so much about the importance of family unity and teaching our children the truth of God's word and why a family integrated church is a great model for bringing families together again, and how churches that separate into age/peer groups don't really help a family to be united.

A few years later, I also read Ken Ham's book Already Gone and realized that I had witnessed, what he talked about in this book, in our previous church, and knew that I didn't want this for my boys.

Our family integrated church doesn't just have us remain together as families during Sunday school and church services.  They are all about relationship-building within the church.  They believe in really getting to know one another within the church and building strong bonds within the congregations, truly becoming part of an even larger family -- knowing, loving, helping and encouraging each other in all things, often supplying a need without having to be asked, and always willing to help and supply a need when asked.

I will complete this series by posting Part 4 tomorrow, where I will talk about some of the activities our church participates in as a group.

Our Decision to Become Part of a Family Integrated Church Part 2

I suppose I should also mention that this church is not in our town, but it is a 40-minute drive for us.

The first Sunday we arrived at the church and were met outside by a gentleman who was very friendly.  He asked our names and where we were from, how we found the church and if we were homeschoolers.  He was thrilled to find out that we were homeschoolers and said that he can always tell homeschoolers at his job.  He works for a local tourist attraction as a guide and he said that homeschoolers ask more questions and ask intelligent questions compared to the public schooled students.  He told us we were going to love this church.  Then we went inside and were greeted with more friendly faces.

During the little bit of social time between the Sunday school and church service time, one of the teen boys came over to invite our boys to gather with the group of teens that were talking in an area.  Our boys hesitated and looked at me, and I told them to go.  So they got to meet some of the teens from the church, while my husband and I spoke with some of the adults.  It was a small church, only about 17 people besides us.

Everyone is together for both Sunday school and church service (all ages).  That is what "Family Integrated" means, so our children were with us the whole time.

After Sunday school and church were over, one of the ladies asked if we wanted to join them for lunch.  She said that a group from the church would be going to a restaurant nearby.  We said no as we were a bit overwhelmed on this first visit and wanted some time to process.

We went to the nearby Burger King for lunch, and the boys and I said how much we enjoyed the church, how much we liked the people and were impressed by their friendliness, and that the pastor's sermon was good as well. My husband reminded us that we weren't going to make a decision on just one visit.  So, we anxiously awaited the following Sunday.

The following Sunday, we went back and were again greeted by friendly faces.  We, again, enjoyed the pastor's sermon, and he had informed everyone that his current Sunday school lessons would soon be ending and he would be starting a series on "apologetics".  We had no idea what apologetics was, but he explained that it was to teach how you can know what you believe and be able to defend it to people who challenged your beliefs.  It sounded like something I really wanted to learn and so did Anthony.

After this second visit, we were convinced that this was were we needed to be; that God had led us to this church for a reason.

We returned to our current church the following week and gave notice in the teen department that we would remain just a few weeks and help to find a replacement to teach the junior high girls Sunday school class I had been doing my best to teach for a couple of months.  (I say "doing my best" because I had originally gone in as a helper and was suddenly thrown into the teaching position when the present teacher stopped showing up and then just quit.  Some of the girls in the class were very angry with me and wanted to know why the teacher wasn't teaching and a couple of them told me they didn't want me as a teacher.  They were very disrespectful and unkind, so I wasn't sorry to leave teaching this class behind.  I did, however, feel bad about leaving a couple of the girls behind, who did seem to appreciate me, but we had to do what was best for our family and go where God was leading us.)

Part 3 will be posted on Wednesday.

Our Decision to Become Part of a Family Integrated Church Part 1

As we have been walking this homeschool journey, we have found our point of view changing along the way.  We have always been a faithful, church-going family.  We had been attending the church my husband grew up in, as he was raised in a Christian home.  It was also the church I was most familiar with, as my mother took my sister and I to church sporadically while we were growing up, and it was the church she took us to. It is a Bible-believing, Bible-teaching church with people separated into age/peer groups for Sunday school and with a separate church service for children, one for teens, and the one for adults, so, in a sense, it is segregated.  Because this is what we grew up with, my husband and I didn't see it as a problem until our oldest son was to become a part of the junior high department.  The church had decided, that year, that 6th graders would be part of the junior high department and the junior high department was not always separated from the senior high department, which meant our 12 year old sixth grader would be in some discussions and activities with 17 and 18 year old seniors.  This was a concern for us.  We, as parents, felt this was too big of an age span and were concerned about what our 12 year old may hear from a 17 or 18 year old that we didn't think he was ready for or that we were ready to teach him about, as well as some things we still wanted to protect him from.

Our oldest, himself, came to us and said he doesn't want to go into the junior high department unless we come with him.  So, my husband and I volunteered to become part of the junior high department, so that we could be present and could see whatever was going on.  This remained the case for our oldest son's 6th, 7th and 8th grade years, and each year I could see more and more things arising that I disagreed with in the teen department, not to mention the disrespect we received from many of the teens.

When our son was faced with entering the 9th grade level of the teen department, he came to my husband and I on three different occasions and said, "Please don't make me go into the Senior High Department.  I don't want to go to the Senior High Department.  I don't have any friends here."  And this was the church he had been growing up in.  He had known most of these kids for twelve years.  How could he not have any friends here?  Well, it was because we were one of only two or three families homeschooling in the entire church.  We were the minority and none of the other teens were homeschoolers, so our son had been excluded from the group because he didn't attend either public or private school with any of the other teens.

So, we began to pray for God to help us to be able to affect a change in the church or simply for His guidance in all of this.

Our homeschool community has a magazine that we receive monthly that tells us about all of the homeschool groups and happenings in our county.  I received the June/July issue that year, and I always read this magazine from cover to cover.  As I was reading this issue, I came upon a page inviting people to a new church, a family integrated church.  There wasn't a lot of information on the page, but something about it piqued my interest.  However, I didn't think my husband would consider visiting or changing churches, so I simply laid it aside.

Several times over the following days, that page kept coming to my mind, until I finally decided to show it to my husband and talk about it.  I was surprised at his response.  After discussing it, he suggested we visit the church in the homeschool magazine on the two weekends surrounding his upcoming week of 4th of July vacation.  We talked to the kids, who were all for the idea.

We decided that we would attend the church those two Sundays and refrain from making a decision until after the second Sunday.

As this story is fairly lengthy, in order to share it properly and give you the important details, I will break this post into several parts.  This is the end of Part 1.  Come back Monday for Part 2.

Ending the School Year -- Evaluations and Portfolios

We have just six days of school left for this year!  Then, we take a break, though not the entire summer.  I will post another day on our schedule.  For this post, I want to share what we are required to do for our end of the school year.

We are required to have a log showing that we have schooled either 900 hours (elementary)/990 hours (secondary) or 180 days.  I log days.  This is required by our state homeschool law.  Our state also requires that we have an annual evaluation performed by a certified teacher.  This means that we schedule a time with a certified homeschool-friendly teacher and we take our portfolio to that teacher and he or she looks over it and asks our student(s) some questions about their experience from the year.  Then that teacher provides us with either a check-off sheet or a short report stating that we covered the required subjects for the year, and that the student did, indeed, learn new things during the year.

What is a portfolio?  A portfolio is simply a sample of your child's work for the year.  We are to provide samples from each subject from beginning, middle and end of year.  For example, two or three math worksheets from the beginning of the year, two or three from the middle of the year and two or three from the end of the year.  The same for all other subjects, or a written report on something for a specific subject -- i.e. George Washington for U.S. History or Bird Migration for Science.  My youngest has completed four lapbooks this year, two for Science, one for Health, and one for History/World Geography.  We will take those along to our evaluation.  Any special project(s) the child completed and is proud of and wants to share, my middle son will be showing his salt dough map of Israel and Judah.  An evaluation takes about half an hour per child.

Then we have to turn certain things into our local school district at the end and at the beginning of each year. At the end of the year, some school districts require you turn in your portfolio every year.  Our school district requires that we turn our portfolios in just the first two years per student.  After the two years, we simply have to turn in our evaluator's report/check-off sheet.

My advice is that you study and know your state's homeschool law because there are school districts who will try to require you do more than the state requires, and they cannot do that. So, know your state's homeschool law and follow it.  Yes, you will have to follow the school district as far as whether or not your entire portfolio gets turned in yearly or if they have a different requirement for that, but they cannot require you to turn in more than a portfolio and/or evaluator's report.  Also, don't over-do your portfolio.  Don't put more in it than you need to.  The school district's job is simply to see that you are indeed teaching your child(ren) the required subjects and that your child(ren) are indeed learning something.  They do not have the right to tell you what to teach or how much of it to teach or any other specifics.  We don't give more than we absolutely have to because the government already oversteps their bounds into our private lives and we don't want to give them an excuse to overstep farther.

Most states/school districts also try to require you to turn in medical and dental forms showing that you are taking your child(ren) for medical and dental exams and having them immunized.  However, legally, you do not have to immunize (I know quite a few families who choose not to), and you can simply give them a letter stating that you get your children medical and dental exams and that you do not wish to turn in a form to them and this should be sufficient.  For further information and help with this, contact HSLDA or check out their website (I have a link on my sidebar).

Finally, I would like to impress upon you to become members of HSLDA if you homeschool your child.  You never know when a question or problem may arise that you have to face and aren't sure what to do.  Having HSLDA to turn to for such questions and problems is truly a blessing and offers peace of mind.  My husband and I renewed our membership this year to become lifetime members, instead of renewing annually or every other year.  If you are a committed homeschooler and know that you will be homeschooling for ten or more years, the lifetime membership is really worth it, and it much cheaper in the long run.

Having Children or Not Having Children -- Which is Selfish?

  I know this may seem like an unusual post to some of you, but I have been hearing and reading things where people criticize and/or complain about having children and that having children is "selfish".  So, I have decided to post my two cents on the issue, and since homeschooling is all about children, I don't think it's too far off the mark for my blog.
  I will start by telling you about my family.  My husband and I were unable to conceive and could not afford fertility treatments and such, so we decided to let it up to God.  Then one day on my way to work, as I was listening to our local Christian radio station, they were talking to some people from two of the local adoption agencies.  They talked about how it was now possible to "foster-to-adopt".  That night I spoke to my husband about it.  We prayed about it and then called the one agency.  We went to an orientation where the foster-to-adopt option was explained, as well as what was required of us to be approved for the opportunity to foster-to-adopt.  We thought it over and prayed about it and decided it was what we should do.
  Long story short, we have three wonderful boys, all of which came to us through the foster-to-adopt program.  Now, I will tell you that our original plan was to foster-to-adopt one boy and one girl.  We figured since we were going this route, we had the ability to choose.  Our first was a boy.  About nine months before his adoption was final, we had another little boy join us, but, unfortunately, it did not work out for us to adopt him and he went to live with his biological father right after the adoption of our first son was final.  A month later, we received a call for another boy.  Our first reaction was "No".  We weren't ready to jump in again after just having to say good-bye to a precious little boy.  Well, apparently God had a plan, because the agency asked us to at least look over his paperwork, and, of course, there was a photo included.  Another long story short, he ended up becoming our second child.  Then we thought we were finished.  Two children were enough and we wanted to live a normal life without the intrusion of caseworkers in and out of our house  so frequently.
  Five years passed, and then we decided we would try for a girl one more time.  Well, God really does have a sense of humor and His plans are not always our plans.  We ended up with one more boy.  After his adoption, we did remain with the agency for one more year, still hoping to add a little girl to our family.  Then, I had some health issues come up and we decided that our family is complete and it just wasn't part of God's plan for us to have a little girl, and I was finally at peace with this decision.  We did do a couple of short-term respite cares during that final year with the agency, all boys :)
  Our boys were not infants when they became a part of our family.  So the time we have with them is even shorter than people with infants are blessed with, and so our time with them is even more precious.
  Now let's talk about the selfish part.  Parents who truly love and want their children spend time with their children and value their children.  They give up things they, themselves desire, to provide for their children.  That doesn't mean giving the child(ren) everything they want materially speaking, but also giving them opportunities -- learning a musical instrument, playing a sport, going on missions trips, family vacations.  These parents also talk with with their children and really get to know their children.  They encourage their children in their talents, hopes and dreams.  They attend the basketball and soccer games and the music recitals, etc.  So, these parents are giving up time that they could be spending doing what they most desire, to spend with their children instead.  They are also sacrificing material things that they may want to provide for the needs or maybe a desire of their child(ren).  These parents put their children above themselves like the Bible verse:  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3-4.
  Now what about the people who don't really want children or who see their children as a burden and a nuisance?  They resent their children because their children keep them from fulfilling all of their desires or because they need a few minutes of their time.  Or, maybe they work long hours and don't have time for their children because they want to live their lives in the manner they have always dreamed of -- big house, fancy car, expensive vacations, etc.  They focus more on what they themselves want.  They are the ones who say, "We'll start our family when we have our own home, or when we have X amount of dollars in the bank", etc.  or they choose not to have children at all because they don't want to have to miss out on what they themselves want to buy or to do or travel to the places they want to go.
  So, which ones are truly selfish?

  The ones who have children and consider their children a blessing and a gift of God will still have time to have some of the things they want or to do the things they want to do or to go places they want to go, when their precious children are grown and have their own families.  But, even if they don't fulfill all of their personal desires, they are not concerned about that.  They simply wish to leave a legacy of love behind.  They want their children to feel valued and to know that they were loved, even after their parents have had to leave this world.

  It breaks my heart and makes me feel ill the way our world has decided that children are a burden and have very little value, that they are disposable.  I weep and God weeps.  I pray that more people will realize that, yes, having children requires work and sacrifice, but there is no better job with better value to be found anywhere.  Raising a child and having the love of your child is the greatest reward we can have on this earth, aside from knowing, loving and serving Jesus Christ, our Lord, and He teaches the value of children when the disciples want to chase the children away, and Jesus says, "Let the little children come to me."  Matthew 19:14a

Inner Harbor, Baltimore, Maryland

I have decided to include occasional posts about some more personal things in our lives because homeschooling really is a lifestyle, and I thought it might be helpful to you to see how we live.

On Sunday, April 28, 2013, we spent the afternoon and evening at Inner Harbor in Baltimore, Maryland.  It was an overcast, windy day and it rained a little bit, but we had so much fun.  We went with another family from church and our Pastor.  We attend a family-integrated church, and we spend a lot of time with people from our church.  (I will do some future posts about our church as well).

There were street performers.  This violinist was the first one I saw, and the rest of our group turned to go in the opposite direction, but I refused to follow the group until I had, at least, captured one photo of this talented young man.

Anybody remember where "Bubba Gump" became famous?    Have you seen the movie from years ago, "Forrest Gump"?

Yes, Ripley's has a museum there.  We did not pay to enter.  We simply viewed what we could from the sidewalk and took some photos.

This car was just the right size for our youngest.

Though he hasn't seen any of the Transformer movies, our youngest loves Bumblebee, so when we saw Bumblebee in the doorway, we knew we had to get this photo.

Looking into the museum, we could see the first couple of exhibits, and I had to take a photo of this.  This states that the tallest man was 8' 11" tall.  Our 15-year-old is 6' 2" tall and still has a few years of growing he can do.  I certainly hope he doesn't get as tall as this man was.  It's hard enough to get him shoes and pants now!

This street performer was not overly impressive to our group, as the other family has a son who could probably have done all of this performer's tricks at a higher level.  He was entertaining, though, and when he hugged this little fellow from the audience, I had to capture that moment.

This is Grandma Georgia and Grandma Ruth to all of the children at our church.  They are great ladies who are really a lot of fun to hang around with.  Here they are waving to us from a ship that they paid to enter to tour.  It was very historic and had four levels.  They enjoyed it.

Our youngest son said this ship reminded him of a pirate ship.

I thought these colorful dragon paddleboats all lined up at their dock made an interesting shot.

There were lots of beautiful flowers growing in many areas, but I really liked these pansies.

This is in the center of the Barnes and Noble bookstore.  We are pretty sure it was once some kind of factory or warehouse.  It is certainly a very sturdy building.

Something about this goofy fish statue, brought out the fish in several of our group:

My friend, Becky, is on the right, and her fish face made me laugh.  I told her I thought she looked like Dory ("Finding Nemo") and we laughed, and she said, "Everyone says that."  It's so much fun to laugh with good friends.

This young girl was the last street performer we saw, and she sang an original song that she wrote.  She had a lovely voice.  She is very talented and her dad was with her and had set up her keyboard and mic.

Below are some of the photos I captured as darkness began to descend:

Becky's sweet daughter, Chelsea, wanted to go into the candy store, so I said I'd go with her -- that was a mistake   :)

This was the name of the candy store.

Supersized boxes of Willy Wonka's Everlasting Gobstoppers.  They had lots of supersized candy items.

Earlier in the day, we had discussed getting matching T-shirts with our church name on the back for the next time we go out as a group, so we can find everyone more easily when we separate for a while.  When Grandma Ruth saw these shirts in the candy store, she said, "Here are our T-Shirts!"  (They say "One Hot Chick")

This is sweet Chelsea holding a supersized Twizzlers.

Some stuffed candy characters (Nerds above and M&M's below)

My sweet baby with a supersized TootsiePop (No, I didn't buy it).  I did, however, buy a little bit of a few different kinds of candy -- Red Swedish fish, Cherry Nibs, Reese's Pieces, and some cool colored M&M's that don't come in the normal bags of M&M's. 

This was lots of fun, but the price when I went to the checkout was quite a shock.  Then Grandma Georgia saw this sign and said,

"They certainly do."   (The sign says, "We're gonna get you Sucker.")   Becky's husband, Warren, says they definitely rely on impulse shoppers, and that's what I was -- in a new, cool candy store, unlike any I've seen before and with novel candies.  I won't be visiting this store again, but I'm sure we'll return to Inner Harbor.  Our oldest son wants to ride in one of those Dragon Paddleboats.  (Yes, even though this was Sunday, I count it as a school day because we were on a field trip of sorts.  Monday, April 29, we went to the library and I checked out a book with lots of photos of the history of Inner Harbor for us to study a bit this week, to make this field trip experience complete.  Though, sometime, we'll have to go back to visit the Aquarium, and that's a field trip in itself.